trauma

Trauma-Informed Care: How Your Therapist Can Create A Safe Space

One of the many reasons people may seek counseling is to deal with past trauma. Various types of therapy can be incredibly beneficial for people seeking to learn to cope with traumatizing events, but it is critical that while seeking this therapy, you find the right caregiver. Often people will “give up” on therapy because it “isn’t working” when in reality, they simply need to find the right person to guide their journey. If therapy hasn’t worked for you in the past, you may want to consider if your therapist addressed your trauma through trauma-informed care. What is trauma-informed care? Well, let’s define some things first!

Trauma is clinically defined as an emotional response to a terrible event. Even though when we experience trauma, the response may start as emotional, it can lead to physical responses as well such as panic attacks. Trauma can be brought on by any number of events. Most commonly people think of an accident, an assault, a death of a loved one, or other sudden, horrible event. However trauma isn’t just defined by the severity of the event, but how your own body responds to it. What may be traumatizing for you, would not be for another person and vice versa. You may have gone through a traumatic hospital stay when your child was born, or a traumatic divorce that lasted months on end. It is not up to another person to define what is traumatizing to you. If you have an emotional response when you think of the event or when you experience similar circumstances, it was traumatizing for you. 

Trauma-informed care is a set of concepts that can apply to any range of care for people who have experienced severe trauma in the past. Practitioners in the medical field, mental healthcare, and even exercise and wellness can use trauma-informed care practices to make clients and patients who have been through trauma feel more comfortable, at-ease, and safe in settings where they may encounter triggering situations, conversations, or events. At the core of trauma-informed care is the principle “do no harm,” meaning that trauma-informed caregivers and providers seek to ensure their treatments, classes or sessions do not add to the trauma response people may feel. In counseling, this may look different from therapist to therapist, but generally the concepts would remain the same. Even if a counselor is not specifically advertising “trauma-informed care” it is likely that he or she is putting these concepts into practice, and if you feel unsafe, address it with your therapist. 


  1. Safety. Possibly the most important concept in trauma-informed care is that of safety. Your therapist or counselor should reassure you of your physical, emotional, and mental safety throughout your time with them. Especially during times when you are asked to relive or retell parts of your trauma in order to process these emotions, a trauma-informed session will ensure you, out loud, that you are safe. 

  2. Trustworthiness. Just as in any healthy relationship, there must be trust between you and your provider in order for you to feel well-cared for. This means they should be consistent, provide and respect boundaries, and “do what they say they will do.” You should never feel surprised or caught off-guard by your therapist. 

  3. Choice. People seeking therapy, especially for trauma, may have spent a good deal of their lives feeling out of control. Because of this, providing patients or clients with choice of how long sessions last, or topics to cover can provide a sense of relief. If you feel your therapy sessions are not following your cues in this regard, talk with your provider about how to have more control in your time with them.

  4. Collaboration. Trauma-informed care should feel like a collaborative effort between patient and provider. Rather than following a strict set of protocols with no room for deviation, the patient and provider work together to come up with a plan for addressing important concerns and issues. As a patient in trauma-informed care, you have a contributing voice. And while no practitioner will let you simply ignore major concerns or issues, they will follow your lead and guide you rather than force you into their plan of care. However, it’s important to also note that even in trauma-informed care, if your therapist notices that you’re avoiding certain issues or topics entirely and instead want to focus on areas that aren’t helpful to you, they may let you know that you may not actually be ready for therapy.

  5. Empowerment. The ultimate goal of trauma-informed therapy is for you to have tools and coping skills of your own. A trauma-informed provider wants to make sure that you feel empowered to walk away from his or her office and be “discharged” from their care. While they’re always there to help you process as needed, they truly want to see you recover from trauma and support your own resilience. 

If you have sought therapy or counseling previously, and it didn’t work out for you or you felt unsure of what you experienced, it may have been because some of these aspects of trauma-informed care were not being met for you. Counselors at Rockwall Counseling and Wellness can help you process trauma or work through relationship issues in your life in a way that makes you feel safe, empowered, and heard. Their goal is always to “do no harm” and they want to see you succeed. If you’re interested in meeting with one of our qualified counselors, click the link below to start your journey toward healing today!


By Emily Taylor, Contributing Writer

Counselor Spotlight - Katheryn Chaney, LCSW-S, RPT-S

This week on the blog…

Rockwall Counseling and Wellness would like for you to get to know Katheryn Chaney. A Rockwall ISD alum, Katheryn has been a therapist for nearly two decades. Specializing in work with trauma survivors, Katheryn’s experience and compassion are incredibly valued here at Rockwall Counseling and Wellness. To book a session with Katheryn, click the link at the bottom of the post!

Tell us a little about your journey to becoming a counselor. Where did you go to school? What are your degrees in? Are you originally from the Rockwall area?

I have been a therapist for 18 years. I started out at Texas Tech University and completed my degrees at Texas A&M University-Commerce. Both my undergraduate degree and Masters degree are in Social Work. I graduated from High School in Rockwall (a long time ago!), then moved to the Austin area for several years after receiving my education, then returning and settling in Forney, Texas in 2000 where my husband and I began raising our family. Up until I came to Rockwall Counseling and Wellness, I had worked for non-profit organizations in the area of adoption, foster care, and child advocacy. I spent some time in education both in the public school setting and University setting as a clinical instructor in the School of Social Work at Texas A&M University-Commerce. 

What type of therapy are you most passionate about? Why?

I am most passionate about working with trauma survivors, children and adults. We all have a story worth telling and that story deserves to be honored and heard. I have been trained in EMDR and am certified in Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, both evidenced based practices which offer hope and healing to individuals healing from traumatic experiences. I have a special place in my heart for individuals healing from childhood sexual abuse. I am also passionate about play therapy and have been a registered Play Therapist and supervisor for many years as well (RPT-S). It's very rewarding hearing a child's story through their play and interaction with the world around them. It's amazing what we can learn from children if we just listen and join their world, real or imaginary.

If you could have any job besides the one you have now, what would you want to be doing?

The job I would want if I wasn't doing my dream job already would be a doctor or a nurse. I have always been drawn to helping professions and this seems a natural fit for me! 

What do you feel the biggest struggle facing your clients is?

Let's face it, LIFE IS HARD and bad things happen that we are not quite prepared for and oftentimes feel completely overwhelmed by.  It helps to have someone who sees this challenge and is willing to face it with us. When bad things in our life happen, we can sometimes formulate unhealthy and unhelpful internal dialogue as a result. I love helping my clients sort this out and formulate more accurate self talk which can be empowering and life changing! What we tell ourselves matters. I like to make sure what my clients are telling themselves is accurate, helpful and empowering. 

Who in your life do you most look up to? Why?

I have had many people in my life who have made a significant imprint on my life and practice. Professionally speaking, I would have to say I have been most influenced by the practice of Dr. Gary Landreth at the University of North Texas Center for Play Therapy most and aspire to provide the same safe space for my clients as he has for his.

What is one piece of advice you would give your younger self?

Be kind to yourself, forgive yourself and move on. I would spend much less time people pleasing and more time investing in me and my relationships. 

What would you say to someone who is considering starting therapy, but doesn’t know if it’s worth the time or money?

It is so worth it! Investing in yourself is what healthy people do. It's never too late to take care of you. If you are not okay, the other important roles in your life will suffer. You are worth the investment!

Are you a dog person or a cat person?

Definitely a dog person! We currently have a micro mini goldendoodle named "Ruby" and she is one of the loves of my life. We are currently training her as a therapy dog, so hopefully very soon she'll be joining me in the office.

Do pineapples belong on pizza?

I guess if you like pineapples, sure! Who am I to judge, LOL! I can't say I've ever had pineapple on my pizza, but I would be willing to try it.

What’s your favorite place to go out to eat in Rockwall?

My favorite Rockwall spot is probably Mi Cocina or Zanata! 

What do you like to do in your free time?

I don't have much free time as a working mom of three very active girls, but when I do, I love spending time on the lake or playing outside with my family. We love vacationing and adventures of all kinds. 

What’s your favorite time of year?

Summer is definitely my favorite time of year. Sunshine is so good for the soul and just makes me so happy.

Tell us a little about your family.

I have been married to my college sweetheart, Chad for 25 years this August! We have three beautiful girls ranging in age from 20 to 10. They are definitely the best thing we've ever done. 

What is your favorite place to visit?

We are pretty simple people and love the lake! We've been blessed to visit some pretty cool places as a family, but our favorite place to be is the lake. We love boating, surfing, and spending time outside. Lake life is the best life!

If you could have dinner with one person, living or dead, who would it be and why?

I would want to have dinner with my mother-in-law, Lynda Chaney. I didn't get enough time with her as my mother-in-law, as she passed away in 2000 just two years after my husband and I married. She was beautiful inside and out, and I have lots of questions. She was patient and kind, and I so admired her. It's beautiful to see some of her best qualities come to life in my husband. She definitely made her mark on him and for that I am grateful. 

Are you more introverted, extroverted, or a mixture of both?

There are times I am super extroverted, typically with my oldest and best friends, LOL and there are times I tend to be more introverted.  I am a deep thinker, oftentimes overthinking things. I would say I am a good mix of both. 



How Past Trauma Can Impact Your Marriage

Childhood experiences centered around a family dynamic, while different for each individual, shape us all. Some people had what some would call the “picture perfect” childhood where their parents stayed married and they lived in a loving, stable and supportive household. Others of us come from  a “broken home” where our parents divorced due to constant fighting, infidelity, abuse or simply just growing apart. And then we have the people who experienced all kinds of abuse whether it was physical, verbal, or sexual abuse in their childhood whether it was from a family member, friend, significant other or a stranger. For people who went through trauma in their childhood, neglecting the damage this can cause may also impact future relationships, including their marriages. 

I have counseled couples for a while now and a common observation is that when one or both spouses have experienced childhood trauma, they often think that this is not affecting them because it is in the past. However, what some don’t realize is that trauma is like an anchor that holds us down and can be heavy on us. When we don’t get counseling to process through the past trauma, then naturally our brains suppress those painful, traumatic memories. We may just go through the motions day after day while experiencing anxiety, depression, or anger. Then, when we get into relationships or enter into a marriage, that trauma is still right there. We can find ourselves triggered by certain things, and sadly, our significant others are the ones that are caught in the line of fire of our destructive behaviors. 


I can personally say from my own life/marriage that unresolved childhood trauma truly does affect your marriage. I had significant childhood trauma, and my husband had that “picture perfect” childhood I was the person who went day by day avoiding my trauma and “faking it until I made it.” When we got married and started having children, my past trauma was like a spotlight on our marriage. I would lash out at him, have anxiety attacks, push him away, and distance myself  to avoid conflict. My poor husband was so dumbfounded as to why I was acting the way I was. And, honestly, even thought I was in school at the time studying to be a counselor, I had my blinders on and did not want to see that my own trauma was affecting my marriage. The tipping point for me was after my third daughter was born. I was lashing out at everyone because I was so overwhelmed. Our oldest, who was only four at the time, crawled into my lap and said, “Mommy, why are you so mad all the time?” In that moment, it hit me hard. A huge fear of mine was being a “bad mother” after my own child hood experiences. I realized I needed to face my own trauma head on for the sake of my marriage, and the mental health of everyone in my family. My husband and I got into counseling, and I started counseling individually. it was the best thing we ever did! 

You may be wondering what you could expect in this type of counseling or about the positive impact it could have on your marriage. Trauma informed marriage counseling will allow you and your partner to discover your own triggers, respect each others’ and work through conflicts that may arise because of unhealed childhood issues. In light of this, one common question I get from couples is, “What are triggers, and how do I know when I am triggered?” I always explain to couples that everyone’s triggers are different depending on their individual experiences, traumatic or not, and then use these examples to show what triggers may look like:

  1. If you have gone through sexual abuse, then certain sexual actions with your spouse, talking about certain sex topics, or even seeing sex or rape scenes on television can be triggering.

  2. If your spouse uses a specific tone with you like raising their voice in a fight, it can be triggering, especially if you come from a home where your parents fought constantly and yelled at one another.

  3. If you’re watching a movie and there is a violent scene, it can be triggering if you have been physically abused or you witnessed physical abuse growing up.

After a couple has identified some personal triggers that affect their marriage, I ask them to describe what typically happens when they are triggered. Many times they will respond by saying something like, “I get super anxious/worried” or, “I get angry and withdraw.” This then gives us an opportunity to discuss the four trauma responses that most people resort to when triggered. 

  1. Fight: anger, irritable, signs of aggression

  2. Flight: anxiety, worry, scared

  3. Freeze: sadness, shames, dissociates

  4. Fawn: avoids conflict, has a hard time saying no, tends to people please.


You likely won’t experience the same trauma response every time you are triggered. It can be different depending on the circumstances, and you may even cycle through two, three, or even all of these responses. When working with a couple, I try to explain the importance of identifying their triggers and knowing when they are entering into a trauma response. This allows them to never project their raw emotions onto their spouse. Additionally, it is important to remember that if both spouses have unresolved trauma, they tend to trigger one another without even realizing they are doing so. Counseling can help couples work through these issues.


If you are engaged, in a resationship where you intend to get married or are already married and have experienced any type of trauma, I strongly suggest you seek individual and couples counseling to help you and your significant other understand your personal trauma. Things like this do not go away on their own. It’s never too late to deal with your trauma and allow your relationships to begin to heal. Everyone deserves happiness you just must want it for yourself.


Written by: Amy Comer LPC-Associate; Supervised by Perry Collins, LPC-S