pornography addiction

A Silent Epidemic: Pornography Addiction

Part Two: Pornography And Its Effect On Relationships

Last week in the blog we took a difficult yet important look at how pornography consumption plays into mental health issues for individuals. Its addictive nature and negative impact on brain chemistry create a negative feedback loop that make pornography consumption dangerous, especially to those who already struggle with anxiety, depression, or other mental illness. 

But you may be thinking, “Is porn really that bad if I don’t struggle with addiction or mental health issues?” The short answer, is yes. Today, we’ll be taking a closer look at how pornography consumption and addiction affects relationships, and even though the porn industry would have you believe that watching pornography improves intimacy, the research shows this is simply not the case.

Pornography negatively impacts people’s sex lives.

Because pornography is so unrealistic, it creates unrealistic expectations of what sex and even one’s partner should look like. Young people whose only education about people’s bodies and sexual encounters comes from pornography are more likely to be dissatisfied with their actual sexual experiences because they’re not the curated, directed scenes they’ve come across in pornography. They’re unable to develop healthy ideas about sexual encounters and more likely to engage in risky sexual behaviors because they’ve seen these things portrayed. Porn can also skew people’s views about their partners’ bodies and create subliminal ideas about what our partners should look like and how they should perform. When reality doesn’t meet these false expectations, consumers turn back to pornography, feeding into the consumption loop. Finally, and maybe most surprisingly to some, pornography has actually been shown to have links to sexual dysfunction.

Pornography increases sexual objectification

Pornography also disconnects the consumer from their arousal. Simply put, when watching pornography, a person does not have to connect emotionally, or at all, with the person causing them to be aroused or giving them sexual gratification. When consumed continually, as is the nature of porn, this leads to objectification, particularly of women. In pornography, women are often portrayed as objects to be used for sexual satisfaction. They’re not humans with needs, desires, emotions, or boundaries. They can be used however the creators see fit. Medical researchers have noted that as men viewed sexualized women repeatedly, the medical prefrontal cortex (mPFC) that allows our brain to distinguish human faces was not activated. Their brains did not even realize they were looking at a human, merely a collection of body parts. When women are seen this way, it has shown to lead to an increase in violent thoughts against women, men who are less likely to step in during an assault, and an increase in victim blaming in cases of sexual assault. These are just the effects of objectification on the consumer of pornography. Researchers have also seen that when someone’s partner routinely consumes porn, they internalize the sexual objectification. They’re more likely to feel their partner is using them as a warm body rather than connecting intimately. Further, research has also shown that women whose partners consume porn regularly are more likely to have body image issues, problems with low self-esteem, and develop eating disorders. Pornography shows “cultural ideals” of beauty. Typically very thin women with no blemishes, stretch marks, or just normal appearance. When this is the “beauty standard” one’s partner regularly sees, it’s damaging to the relationship and the individual on the other end. But this is not the only way that pornography consumption can hurt one’s partner. 

Pornography leads to secretive behavior and lack of communication

Porn is everywhere, and yet it is also still taboo. This means that many consumers of pornography hide their use from their partners. While it is not uncommon for women to consume porn, research has shown that men are the main consumers, viewing porn weekly or even daily. Many times this consumption is hidden from their partners, and when it is discovered leads to feelings of betrayal, rejection, loneliness, and anger. Many women have described it as feeling they have been cheated on, and if the boundary was not set in the relationship, they feel they have “no leg to stand on” because their partner “didn’t actually cheat.” Even if pornography use is discussed within the relationship, it still causes the issues discussed above. Objectification, lack of connection, and unrealistic performance and beauty standards all have severe consequences within a relationship. If the porn one’s partner consumes has perpetually young, perfectly airbrushed, surgically enhanced people, it’s no wonder we feel like our partners are dissatisfied with us. These unrealistic expectations go both ways and effect men and women in relationships equally. 

Pornography is truly a silent epidemic in our world. We don’t talk about its damages because we don’t want to seem “prude” or “behind the times.” But the reality of pornography consumption is that it is damaging. Regardless of your religious beliefs or sexual history, pornography has negative impacts on relationships. If you’re interested in learning more and reading the specific research studies we gleaned this information from, head to fightthenewdrug.org to learn more about how pornography is impacting individuals, relationships, and our society at large.

If you, your partner, or someone else in your life is struggling with pornography consumption or addiction, we truly want to help without judgment or shame. You CAN build a healthy sex life outside of pornography, and you CAN break the addiction cycles that pornography creates. We would be honored to help you rebuild relationships and create healthy patterns outside of pornography. You can reach out to one of our therapists by clicking the link below. 


Written by Emily Taylor, Contributing Writer

A Silent Epidemic: Pornography Addiction

Part One: Pornography and Its Effect on the Brain

With access to the internet literally in our pockets, information, shopping, and connection are only seconds away at all times. And while all of this access helps us and our world in so many ways, there is a very real threat that we have more access to than ever before - pornography. While some may brush off viewing pornography as “just porn” or “not a big deal,” the reality is that pornography negatively impacts individuals, our relationships, and society as a whole. Over this two part series, we will take a look at how pornography negatively affects individuals and relationships. We want to be transparent and upfront that pornography has very negative impacts, and as we’ll discuss in this article, viewing pornography has similar effects on the brain to using tobacco or other addictive substances. We want to encourage you that if you or someone you love is struggling with pornography use or addiction, you can break through and have freedom. 

Before the rise of the internet, pornography was much more taboo. It was consumed or purchased in secret with much more difficult access, but in today’s digital society, it is everywhere, all the time. And with it, so are the negative impacts it has on individuals and their mental health. 


Pornography changes your brain

There are two main ways in which pornography consumption changes our brains for the worse. 

  1. Solidified pathways through an over-production of Delta-FosB mean that it’s easy for pornography consumers to repeat the behavior over and over. We’ve all heard the phrase “just like riding a bike” in reference to something we learned a long time ago but is easy to repeat because we “just remember” how to do it. This happens because when we learn to do something new, particularly if it is fun and repetitive, our brains produce the chemical Delta-FosB, which makes the nerve pathways in our brain stay in place for a long period of time. This same concept applies to unhealthy behaviors, too. Pornography, whether we like to face this reality or not, is pleasurable and repetitive. This means that when a person consumes pornography, Delta-FosB is produced, solidifying the pathway in the brain that says, “Repeat this action again! It was fun!” 

  2. Supernormal imaging of pornography makes its consumption more “rewarding” than real life; hijacking our brain’s pleasure center. “Supernormal” is a phrase used to describe something that is an amplified version of reality. This applies to pornography because while it uses real humans, it only uses them in amplified, unrealistic ways, resulting in reality being less appealing. A way to think of it is this:  If you only ate at five-star restaurants for a year, you probably would all of a sudden find your mom’s cooking lackluster. Pornography warps our sense of what real intimacy looks like because it exposes us to supernormal intimacy. 

Pornography can become an addiction

Because of these changes to our brain chemistry when we consume pornography, it can become an addiction. In addition to Delta-FosB solidifying pathways in our brain when we complete a repetitive, pleasurable action, our brains also release dopamine when we consume addictive substances. The process of this is complex, and you can read more about it here, but the bottom-line is that your brain treats pornography like nicotine or another addictive substance. The brain releases dopamine when you consume it. Every time you have this dopamine release, you crave more and more dopamine, and eventually the substance causes you to make poor decisions in an effort to obtain your next high. People who consume porn are more likely to have trouble controlling other impulses as well because it causes their brain’s prefrontal cortex to have lower decision-making abilities. Pornographhy can be an addiction, and should be treated as such. Just as with any other type of addiction, please seek professional help for dealing with this. You can recover, and you don’t have to do it alone. 

Pornography increases stress responses

Finally, if pornography consumption reaches an addictive state, it adds to a person’s stress response, making mental health issues appear or worsen. Stress can have some benefits, like pushing us to accomplish a goal, but when a person suffers from an addiction, stress only adds to the problem. Let’s say a person with a pornography addiction enters a stressful situation at work. Their reward center in their brain will seek dopamine to off-set the stress. Where do they get dopamine? Pornography. The more stress, the more they seek the addictive substance. Further, if they’re removed from the abused substance, they will feel stressed, causing them to want it even more. People with pornography addiction have been seen to undergo withdrawals similar to that of other drug addictions or people trying to quit smoking. 

So what can be done?

All of this information is frightening for sure. With the prevalence of pornography and the ease with which it is accessed by anyone of any age at any time, it may feel hopeless. If your life is already being negatively affected by pornography, we want you to know that there is hope. We want you to live a life free from the oppression of pornography. We want your relationships to thrive, and we want your mental state to flourish. If you or someone you care about is struggling with pornography consumption or addiction, please reach out to one of our therapists. We have so many loving, compassionate professionals who would love to walk through healing with you.


Written by Emily Taylor, Contributing Writer